Did I tell you I applied to the Uni of Life?
I was measured for my gown... and I promptly got turned down.
I'm not a bit surprised this time. It's just like you to dote
On someone who sleeps to 4pm and isn't even registered to vote.
Well, you're in the same boat.
That the peripheral vision of a dull 28-year-old
Can run rings around a bright teenage mind,
Is a rule you shamelessly uphold, as your sole foothold.
Now the toothpaste round the basin has lost its childish glee.
And your friends reek of cocooning, saying
"life must be taken seriously."
Well, you could have fooled me...

And if there was no praise or blame,
Would you ever be quite the same?
When will you assume nothing? Guess at nothing.
Try to make do with unfurling yourself.

I'll take you to the rooftop. On a clear day you can see
The company cars being half-inched,
And policemen hawking their pilots for TV.
At night you want for sleeping, but it's not easy to do
When the very one you dream of is the one who won't dream of you.
And it still holds true.

On some days you're just all Hate.
And on every other, you ingratiate.
So when will you assume nothing? Guess at nothing.
Try to make do with unfurling yourself,
With unravelling yourself, with unpacking yourself.

You're watching rugby, for all the wrong reasons.
Your knees are hurting, for all the wrong reasons.